Thinking about agents and gazing at slush piles

First of all, I wanna say that most of the agents I've encountered have been superbly polite. For the most part, when I began querying a few months ago, I found that most agents responded. Even if it was a flat "no, I'm gonna pass," at least the agent was acknowledging my existence. (Oh, and even Ms. Snark implored fellow agents to politely decline, and I know for a fact that Nathan Brandsford responds to every query. Literary agents could learn a lesson or two from Mr. Brandsford - he's a super nice guy. I just know it).

Then there are the agents who are apparently too cool for skool, and ignore you. It's bullshit. It's absolute bullshit. Haven't these people heard of friggin' courtesy? Sheesh. Didn't these kids learn anything in skool? Or did they missed the etiquette train in first grade? I mean, perhaps I'm naive, but I just think it's about human decency to correspond. And don't give me that "I-m-just-too-busy-to-even-say-no" line. That's bullshit, too. You're telling me, that you can't click, RESPOND, and type out, "No, I pass - Sincerely, Ms. Polite Lit. Agent?" If you can't do that, you're a lazy you-know-what.

You've dedicated your life to prose, or so you claim, so the least you can do is correspond with frigging writers, and even the ones you reject! Even worse, the agents who themselves are writers and don't respond to your queries! Gimme a break already! OK, this is getting out of hand. I just used three exclamation points in a row. You see, this stuff gets me pretty worked up.

Since we're on the subject of queries, I'm gonna eventually post the one that lands me an agent. As I said earlier, I'm not there quite yet, but my pitch is solid, and has gotten a lot of positive feedback . . . now, if only I can win the heart of an agent with my actual manuscript. That's the biggest hurdle. I'm almost there, and am anxious to hear back from the agents who have the partial piece of my book.

THE SLUSH PILES PICTURE TO THE RIGHT: The one below is an impressive lookin' slush pile. It's neatly organized, compared to the one above it. If you can make it out of a slush pile, you're headin' somewheres . . . at least that's my own delusional thinking, but who knows?