Why I'm here in the first place

OK, so I'll make this blog entry short and sweet. That's not like me, but I'm trying to hone my words and make them extra juicy and super terse.

As I said, I tumbled out of the Ivory Tower -- it doesn't matter which one. I only hope that for those who are going to be leaving soon or have left, say, graduate school at an Ivy, that you'll find solace in the following passages.

I'll be honest. I'm in mourning. I miss the intellectual stimulation, the discussions about books, the people . . . HERE's what I don't miss:

a) The snobbery
b) The overt classism
c) The glaring difference between the rich (undergrads) and the poor (grad) - I'm generalizing, but it's basically true.
d) The desire and hope that you'll become a fantastic scholar, like the ones who are training you, i.e. your role models, BUT also FEARING (the divine paradox of being in grad school at a first tier school) that you'll end up at BFNW University, without health insurance, and dealing with kids who don't care what you're saying (that wasn't my experience when I taught in the Ivory tower - I was spoiled with the level of engagement I enjoyed)
e) Mounting student loan debts
f) Wandering WHY your advisor has 1) stopped writing to you; b) has never written to you; c) is the BLACK sheep of the dept.; d) never read your work!
g) Classism
h) Classism
i) Losing sleep to the point of a nervous breakdown
j) Being filled with ambition (see d), yet feeling uncertain about the future of your professional life in academia
k) Persistent and/or chronic diarrhea
l) Broken friendships as a result of having THEORETICAL differences
m) Acting the part of an apprentice, DESPITE the fact that it's the 21st century
n) Regretting that your dreams as an undergrad are not to be realized in grad school - IF YOU'RE TALENTED AND LOVE WRITING, etc. DON'T GO! TRUST ME, you'll be miserable and a) drop out or b) accept how cruddy it is, and become a curmudgeonly grad student
o) Classism - have I mentioned that already?
p) Sexism (yes, I'm absolutely serious)
q) Having a crappy advisor
r) Having a crappy advisor crap on you
s) Admiring your advisor, then realizing that they're crappy
t) Being disenchanted by the advisor you had admired and being crapped on them
u) Feeling trapped in the same fretful thoughts
v) Imprisonment in the Ivory Tower
w) No one understanding what it means to be a 'grad student' - asbolute limbo, eh? Dealing with these questions: "What are you gonna do with that?," "When you gonna be finished with that degree?," "What is a grad student anyways?"
x) General malaise and an overwhelming sense of isolation
y AND z) Knowing that your star has crashed, burned, blacked out. My sincerest condolences to those of you who have either gone through this, are going through this, or will (God Forbid) go through this - I'll tell you know, you will suffer from bruising, scrapes, bloody gashes for months afterwards.

Sigh.

But, wait! There is hope! Life does exist beyond those pillared towers. The hard part: taking the first steps to leave. Join me, and I'll share my own experiences. You'll see! There is life beyond those old gates, lonely carrels, and plush green lawns . . .